JoePerry wrote:Covert, I'm not sure I agree with your portrayal of the situation. Some people want kids, some people don’t. I don't judge on either account. There's a lot of folks out there whose greatest joy is their children. Besides, if a couple has 1 or 2 kids, they aren't adding to the population, they're lowering or maintaining it (and, yes, I do think there should be tax implications for the number of kids people have).
Moreover, the answer to being skewered by absurd wine prices shouldn't be "well, don't have kids!"
I know that people want and love kids. My point is that if you have them they often become the greatest joy; and that is good, since the parents often can't enjoy much else. But if you choose not to have them, even if you want them, you will often lose that desire to have them and not miss having them at all. Now, if one finds that he or she still wants kids three or four years down the road, s/he can reverse course and have them (if surgery hasn't been performed).
I've done a lot of thinking about this. My wife wanted children and we split up over the battle. She said she wanted me back and would agree not to have kids; I said she could have kids and I would go along with it. Then we agreed to wait and the feeling past for her.
What I see now in her is the finest example of a human being I have ever met. Between her late 20s and now she has grown immeasurably. She's more beautiful physically to me than she was in her 20s and the most authentic and interesting person I know to talk with.
I can't help making a comparison with wine. So many people I know decide to have children and then put all their resources and attention to growing the kids and kind of live their lives through the kids from then on. The adults never develop further. As middle aged people they are just as dull as they were when they were young. To me, having children is like drinking a fine Bordeaux before it develops any complexity and character.
I know there must be exceptions. In fact I have a neighbor who is interesting to talk to and has kids. He developed into middle age, however, without even getting married. Then he married a pretty young girl who wanted kids. He acquiesced. I would do the same thing, I guess, if I were in his shoes.