Pun-ishment

[Bill Spohn]

I have been told that I have a propensity for propounding puns (a foul calumny, of course) but I do enjoy a good play on words.

I keep coming across food puns - the thread awhile ago on outrageous restaurant names/signs was one instance. I thought others might have a few up their sleeves and could post them for our mutual amusement.

I'll offer a couple.

Ever heard of a Triple Sard sandwich? Sardine and Sardo cheese on a sourdough bun?

Did you hear about the herb who was an all round great guy, did loads of charity work and was always there to help? He was a Tarragon Of Virtue.

Do you think that really badly made soup would be gruel and unusual pun-ishment?

I can't tell you where to buy soy sauce tonight, but I can shoyu tamari.

(A personal one) A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef.

That's probably enough for now, but if you have any feel free to let loose (Jenise has come up with a few good ones in the past!)

[Jenise]

I'm doing a chili dinner for 80 next weekend and was rummaging recipes this morning. One site that posts the winning recipes of a "World Championship" had me howling at some of the names. The two I liked best were "Warning Shot--Runs For Your Life", and one where the entrant was from Washington D.C. He named his "Capital Punishment".

Not exactly a pun, but this morning my collaborator on this event and I were discussing pots to use for this event. I have a 16 quart pot that will be perfect for one. She had another she wasn't sure of the size of, but it's larger than her spaghetti pot and her husband calls it "The Missionary Pot". That cracked me up.

[Lou Kessler]

I'm doing a chili dinner for 80 next weekend and was rummaging recipes this morning. One site that posts the winning recipes of a "World Championship" had me howling at some of the names. The two I liked best were "Warning Shot--Runs For Your Life", and one where the entrant was from Washington D.C. He named his "Capital Punishment".

Not exactly a pun, but this morning my collaborator on this event and I were discussing pots to use for this event. I have a 16 quart pot that will be perfect for one. She had another she wasn't sure of the size of, but it's larger than her spaghetti pot and her husband calls it "The Missionary Pot". That cracked me up.

80 people, that's a lot of chili. I'll just guess and say you'll be serving beer.

[Jenise]

I'm doing a chili dinner for 80 next weekend and was rummaging recipes this morning. One site that posts the winning recipes of a "World Championship" had me howling at some of the names. The two I liked best were "Warning Shot--Runs For Your Life", and one where the entrant was from Washington D.C. He named his "Capital Punishment".

Not exactly a pun, but this morning my collaborator on this event and I were discussing pots to use for this event. I have a 16 quart pot that will be perfect for one. She had another she wasn't sure of the size of, but it's larger than her spaghetti pot and her husband calls it "The Missionary Pot". That cracked me up.

80 people, that's a lot of chili. I'll just guess and say you'll be serving beer.

Nope; it's a BYOM (Moonshine) event.

[Robert J.]

No beans, Jenise. No. Beans. Are we clear on this?

rwj

[Carl Eppig]

No beans, Jenise. No. Beans. Are we clear on this?

rwj

Who, besides you, says? Chile is not no more of singular word that pasta or pasta sause. You can find zillions of different versions; green, red, yellow; with or without beans; hunks of meat or ground meat, etc, etc. etc. The only thing required is something that comes off a chile plant.

[Bill Spohn]

I don't know - 'vegetarian chile' seems like a contradiction in terms somehow.

Since you mention it in this thread, you know what the Terlingua cookoff weather forecast was don't you? Chili today and hot tamale.....

And another:

Is it true that insulting an East Indian chef will bring you bad Korma? (I thought that was a-nise one, so we'll leave it as my fennel word for now!)

[Robert J.]

No beans, Jenise. No. Beans. Are we clear on this?

rwj

Who, besides you, says? Chile is not no more of singular word that pasta or pasta sause. You can find zillions of different versions; green, red, yellow; with or without beans; hunks of meat or ground meat, etc, etc. etc. The only thing required is something that comes off a chile plant.

It's 'Chili', not 'Chile'. A chile is the fruit of a plant. Chili is a foodstuff made without beans.

rwj

[Bill Spohn]

Chili is a foodstuff made without beans.

Actually it would be more accurate to say that it was properly made without beans, but was also frequently made improperly!

[Robert J.]

No beans, Jenise. No. Beans. Are we clear on this?

rwj

Who, besides you, says? Chile is not no more of singular word that pasta or pasta sause. You can find zillions of different versions; green, red, yellow; with or without beans; hunks of meat or ground meat, etc, etc. etc. The only thing required is something that comes off a chile plant.

Section B, Rule 3. You might find this enlightening.

http://www.abowlofred.com/Tolbert_Rules.htm

rwj

[Bill Spohn]

Interesting. Carl and I weren't thinking about the specific rules of the Terlingua competition, though, just about what is often added to chili. In the competition, presumably all the other stuff including onions, celery and any other veggies are banned?

[Bill Spohn]

What do you call it when a married couple argue and throw Angostura and Boston Cream pie at each other?


A bitter custardy dispute!

[Jenise]

Best pun yet: I am absolutely going to wow them at dinner next Tuesday night with that one!

[Bill Spohn]

Best pun yet: I am absolutely going to wow them at dinner next Tuesday night with that one!

I'll even let you tell it at lunch on Friday, if you warn me not to say anything!

[Bill Spohn]

Speaking of couples (and puns) did you hear the one about the particularly emotional wedding?

Even the cake was in tiers!

Or the Chinese restaurant where the lights were too bright so the manager decided to dim sum....

Do pancake houses give you the crepes too?

If you work well with your mate, washing and drying dishes together, are you sinkopated?

[Bill Spohn]

A few more:

When I find a good cheese to cook with I always have grate expectations.

She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.

When two bakers swap recipes, is it called a roll reversal?

If you eat too many rolls are you a gluten for punishment?

Do bakers get paid a salary or a floury rate? I know that Italian chefs receive a pretty penne!

Never give a judge a badly made polenta, lest you be held in corn-tempt.

[Bill Spohn]

Last ones before the weekend (I promise)

Last night I ate Middle Eastern food, and this morning I falafel.

Dieting is wishful shrinking.

Those who eat candy with both hands are ambi-dextrose.

What do you call a pun sandwich? A punini?

Is poorly made gumbo medi-okra?

I bought some mint yesterday, but it was wilted this morning. I guess that proves what they say – herb today, gone tomorrow!

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.