People Are Asking: What About Lobster Bibs?

[Daniel Rogov]

Lobster Bibs
For Children and Idiots

In recent months I have had cause to dine at a lobster restaurant in Aix-en-Provence, a bouillabaisse joint in Marseilles, a Japanese restaurant in a suburb of Tel Aviv and a fine seafood restaurant in Athens. The decor and service at each place was impeccable and the dishes on which I chose to dine in those various places (baked stuffed lobsters, bouillabaisse, yakinuku beef, a casserole of mussels in butter, garlic and oil, and chicken wings in a spicy bitter-orange sauce) were every bit as good as I had hoped for. Let me declare, however, that in every place I rejected the bibs that were offered to protect my shirt, tie and jacket from possible stains.

Let it be clearly and finally stated (and at my age, I can state at least some things with finality), that as far as I am concerned, bibs are intended for children or people who, for one reason or another, cannot avoid eating like children. I don’t care whether the bib that is offered has been made from terry-cloth, stylized plastic or flimsy paper. I do not even care whether it has been made from the finest Irish linen – I will not let one of those things be tied around my neck or slid over my head. Simply stated, wearing a bib makes even the most intelligent adult look like an idiot and I am thus convinced that the only place for intelligent adults to be subjected to such treatment is at the dentists’ office, a place at which all of us feel like idiots no matter how pleasant our dentist may be.

It may be misguided snobbism on my part or it may, as I like to think, have something to do with a sense of aesthetics, but once and for all let me state my full and complete solidarity with American food guru James Beard who once wrote that “bibs are for babies and idiots. Civilized people would rather risk a few stains on their clothing”.

Oh yes - in case anyone is wondering – I have no such objections to men or women, peasants or sophisticates, who tuck a large white napkin under their collar while dining on any dish at all even in the finest of restaurants, but that on the condition that the diners in question are over 45 years old and are English, Irish, French, Italian, Greek or Portuguese. When carried off with the proper flair, such a habit can be absolutely charming.

[Bob Ross]

Oh yes - in case anyone is wondering – I have no such objections to men or women, peasants or sophisticates, who tuck a large white napkin under their collar while dining on any dish at all even in the finest of restaurants, but that on the condition that the diners in question are over 45 years old and are English, Irish, French, Italian, Greek or Portuguese. When carried off with the proper flair, such a habit can be absolutely charming.

Damn, I got over the age hurdle ok but that nationality thing rules me out. Thank goodness I always carry a supply of disposable bibs on my travels.

Regards, Bob

[Ken Schechet]

Finally found something to disagree with Rogov about. Bring on the bibs! Many of my favorite foods (lobster, Maryland crabs, barbecue ribs) involve nutcrackers, hammers, or lots of messy sauce. I've always said if I need a bath after it, it was a good meal. I like to play with my food and the bibs just add to the fun. I wouldn't wear one in a fine restaurant, but I wouldn't eat any of this stuff in a fine restaurant either. Give me a real dump that knows how to make this stuff right.

[Tom Troiano]

Here's something that makes no sense.....

There's nothing better than eating Maine lobster outdoors overlooking the ocean and making a huge mess. The liquid, butter, etc. gets everywhere. Do I wear a bib? NO!!!

I have no problem using a bib in a lobster shack in New England. Its almost expected and its OK to look like an idiot. You'd look more stupid shopping in LL Bean with butter all over your shirt.

[Daniel Rogov]

Ken and Tom, Hi....

My personal "hang-up" if you like, but I'd prefer changing shirts (or even buying a new one if necessary). What the heck....hang-ups are hang-ups.

Best
Rogov

P.S. I love L.L. Bean clothing but always do my shopping via their catalogue. Have never been in one of their shops.

[Tom Troiano]

Until fairly recently, LL Bean only had one store - Freeport, Maine. Over the last several years they've added retail stores - mostly on the US east coast but not entirely. Seems kinda funny that they had one store and a catalog for 100 years and now that the Internet has killed lots of retail shopping that LL Bean adds retail stores.

Every few years I attend the Les Amis d'Escoffier Society annual dinner in Boston. There are several rules - one of which is that your napkin must be tucked into your shirt in a certain way at all times. You definitely look like an idiot.

[Daniel Rogov]

Every few years I attend the Les Amis d'Escoffier Society annual dinner in Boston. There are several rules - one of which is that your napkin must be tucked into your shirt in a certain way at all times. You definitely look like an idiot.

Nah...just say that one of your parents was French and the other Italian and everyone will take you for a savant.