Can openers

[Bob Ross]

Robin, David's girl friend, is my closest Italian cooking expert. She claims the Italians invented this food delivery device to improve quality and save money. Her mother and her grandmother, plus a large clan up in Rhode Island, all use them.

Bona fide Italian Americans I'm sure -- they all make tomato "gravy". :-)

Regards, Bob

[Bill Spohn]

I like the tomato paste in a tube -- just like toothpaste.

Food should not come in squeeze tubes. Personal hygiene products come in squeeze tubes. Tomato paste is a food, not a pesonal hygiene product. Therefore, it should come in a can. [she said, making fun of one of her pet phobias]

So are you going to TELL us about the time you grabbed a tube of tomato paste mistakenly left on the bedside table, and what the upshot (as it were) was.....enquiring minds want to know how these phobias arise..... or was it the pasta mistakenly sauced with a personal hygiene product?

[Jenise]

Oh BILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

I have no idea where the phobia came from, but it's been part of me as long as I can remember. Considering my elephantine memory, something mom used on me to cure diaper rash can't be ruled out.

[Skye Astara]

I feel exactly the same way. Can't put my finger on it, but it creeps me out. Like the food will be tainted lol. I wrestle with this rather frequently due to my huge love of anchovies (anchovy paste would qualify as a substitute for mayo on a sandwich for me).

I used to be similarly freaked out by asceptic packs of things like tomato sauce or broth, but have mostly gotten past that. Still can't bring myself to send the little milk boxes to school with my son, although soymilk and juice is fine.

[Jenise]

Can't put my finger on it, but it creeps me out.

We must be sisters. I am just revolted by tubes. You can guess, of course, that I use anchovies in cans only. And mustard out of jars. No squeeze bottles--too close to a tube.

It's so bad that within the last month I had to change tooth paste brands for the first time in like 20 years, and I am still fighting a gag reflex every time I brush my teeth with the new stuff. It'll take me months to get used to it.

[Skye Astara]

Well, if we are sisters I got the liking-creamy-white-food gene lol. Love way too much mayo on my sandwiches and I'll stop there out of consideration.

Mustard out of squeeze bottles seems to me to be automatically of lesser quality, as if they put their old dregs or machine disfunctional batches in there.

Toothpaste? Do you mean that you switched due to packaging? I am pretty adverse to the pump-style toothpastes, they remind me of ketchup pumps at the ballpark when I was a child or something. Have you ever tried fennel flavoured toothpaste? It's absolutely horrifying. But I love my mango one.

[Randy Buckner]

I am just revolted by tubes. You can guess, of course, that I use anchovies in cans only. And mustard out of jars. No squeeze bottles--too close to a tube.

Have you sought help for this?

[Bob Ross]

Food in tubes -- a great invention. I was amazed to find these about 30 years ago, and was part of a odd little movement (as it were) in the hiking community recommending their use.

You can actually buy them and fill them yourself -- peanut butter, jelly, syrup, butter, olive oil, etc. Larger sizes can be used for vegetables, soups, etc., parcelling out portions for two, three or more meals. Scrunch down into completely efficient sized packing.

Cheap, light, secure, no leakage, easy to clean -- all ultralight hikers consider their use -- some folks consider them too heavy, but for an OF like me -- they still have great charm and utility.

It's so rare for me to disagree with you, Jenise, on foodie matters that I had to post this defense. These little tubes greatly improved the quality of chow on the trail for me -- they even are good for packing jellied fuel.

And once you see their utility, you hope for more foods to be packaged in such an efficient manner. Have you ever been able to get all the mayo out of any other packaging?

Regards, Bob

[Jenise]

Skye said:

Mustard out of squeeze bottles seems to me to be automatically of lesser quality, as if they put their old dregs or machine disfunctional batches in there.

From what I can tell, they add some stuff to make the mustard extra shiny and, well, almost tooth-paste textured so that when you squeeze out a line of it it sits up nice and pretty, and doesn't separate in the bottle that way mustard in a jar might get a little water puddle on the top. Spooky!

Bob said: well, something about getting all the mayo out of other forms of packaging.

Well, maybe not. But here's the real question: is that important? Re toothpaste, I never get to the end of a tube. It gets more liquidy (at least, my old brand did) toward the end of the tube so I throw it out and start a new one about half to 2/3'ds way down. Wasteful, but for me unfortunately neccessary. Oh, and I'd buy the smallest tubes--love the travel sizes when I can find them. It even annoys me to touch a tube of toothpaste when it's not full. Believe me, Bob, this is one of those assinine things that's just not negotiable.

[Bill Spohn]

It even annoys me to touch a tube of toothpaste when it's not full.

I assume that your aversion to food in tubes was why you washed out of the astronaut program.....

[Jenise]

Yes, that was one reason. Didn't like the wardrobe much, either.

[Skye Astara]

Whenever I near the end of a jar of mayo, I throw some buttermilk, white pepper, dill, dry mustard, dried/powdered sweet white onions, freshly pressed garlic, and Spike in there. Sometimes some very finely chopped celery leaves. Shake well and you have the best salad dressing ever.

I can see the application of squeeze bottles for hiking, though.

And toothpaste- again, I agree with you, Jenise. I almost obsessively flatten and roll the end of my tube so that the remainder is always as smooth and full as the day I buy it. I haven't noticed my brand getting watery toward the end, fortunately.

[Jenise]

I assume that your aversion to food in tubes was why you washed out of the astronaut program.....

Hey Bill, a heads up: I was up in your neck of the woods braving Falun Gong protestors in order to apply for a Chinese visa. "You need Canada addless," I was told, "you have flend?" So I asked for a phone book and used a certain Royal address. I was assured that this was merely a formality and there's no chance of someone, speaking Vancouver's second favorite language, showing up at your barristry looking for me, but if the remotest of the remote happens I figured I should mention my presumptiveness. Tell 'em I'm the janitor.

[Bill Spohn]

I'll tell them you are the toothpaste lady....tube, or not tube, that is the question!

[Jenise]

I'll tell them you are the toothpaste lady....

Now that's what I call a 'flend'.

tube, or not tube, that is the question!

Is that a Crest for knowledge?

[Jeff Grossman/NYC]

Careful, Bill, she's getting that Gleem in her eye....

[Jenise]

Mister DeGross, I'm ready for my Close-up!

[David M. Bueker]

Yes, that was one reason. Didn't like the wardrobe much, either.

Watch it! We make the wardrobe. You don't like puffy white suits with golden helmets?