Natural wine troll ... in Newsweek?

[Robin Garr]

Anybody ever hear of a wine writer named Bruce Palling? He seems to come from the Spectator cult, or Parker in his declining years ...

Why ‘Natural’ Wine Tastes Worse Than Putrid Cider

Wow. Quite an amazing simplifcation and over generalization. This article is so generalized I am not even sure he is providing any real information at all. It's just a generic rant.

Sure...there is bad natural wine. And, as our Otto has pointed out, some "natural wine" loses typicite and varietal character....some, but not all.

But you know, there is far, far more bad "industrial wine". I still shudder at the thought of the Cartlidge and Brown they used to serve at the late, lamented Wine Styles in my town. Even MADE in an industrial park. Sweet, insipid, smoky from over-toasted oak chips. I would rather have a Jenny & Francois Corbieres that is so bretty that the only way to drink it is by violently swirling it in the glass to blow off the sulfur! (Of course....the right answer is "neither, please", but I am more likely to find a delicious and interesting wine from J&F or Dressner or Massale than I am from the generic swill this writer prefers! )

I would rather have a Jenny & Francois Corbieres that is so bretty that the only way to drink it is by violently swirling it in the glass to blow off the sulfur!

'
I'm confused by idea of a bretty natural wine that has so much sulphur it needs to blow off.

What a terrible article. I'm not a particular proponent of "natural" wines- I love a few, like some, dislike at least as many- yet have never had one that tasted like vinegar. There is not one specific concrete example, just a bunch of bloviating.

I would rather have a Jenny & Francois Corbieres that is so bretty that the only way to drink it is by violently swirling it in the glass to blow off the sulfur!

'
I'm confused by idea of a bretty natural wine that has so much sulphur it needs to blow off.

What a terrible article. I'm not a particular proponent of "natural" wines- I love a few, like some, dislike at least as many- yet have never had one that tasted like vinegar. There is not one specific concrete example, just a bunch of bloviating.

I should edit my post. I didn't mean "sulfur" of course.

Couldn't read it because you guys filled the limit of five freebees per month!

[Robin Garr]

Couldn't read it because you guys filled the limit of five freebees per month!

Ermmm ... I don't think that's the way it works, Carl.

[Jenise]

Couldn't read it because you guys filled the limit of five freebees per month!

Ermmm ... I don't think that's the way it works, Carl.

Actually, Carl's right. At least, while I understand what the intent of "five free articles per month" should be on an individual basis, I've never been to Newsweek.com before in my life and it told me, when I followed your link, as it apparently had Carl, that I had already used my five, too.

[Robin Garr]

I've never been to Newsweek.com before in my life and it told me, when I followed your link, as it apparently had Carl, that I had already used my five, too.

On the other hand, I keep going back and do not get this notice.

I honestly don't think that our group hitting the link wore it out. The story is blowing up all over the Interwebz today. I'm thinking there's something in your cookies that the site doesn't like.

Tell you what, though, hell with it, I'll just post the whole story here. If they tell me to take it down, I will.

Why ‘Natural’ Wine Tastes Worse Than Putrid Cider
By Bruce Palling
Filed: 7/7/14 at 5:38 AM
http://www.newsweek.com/why-natural-win ... der-257281

There’s a tendency among wine writers to keep their heads down and opt for a quiet life. That may explain why they don’t tell the truth about natural wine. They never write that most of it is undrinkable. For many, it tastes like vinegar.

So what is natural wine? Let’s stick to the facts and sidestep whether the name itself is an oxymoron. The natural wine movement believes that what hundreds of million people drink daily is an artificial abomination that relies on chemicals and mechanical processes that strip it of its inherent character. Instead, they believe we should drink wine made with the absolute minimum of human intervention, so that it can fully express its character.

This all sounds perfectly reasonable. It becomes more complicated because there are no agreed upon standards for what makes a wine natural. While some object to adding sulphur, for others it is more important whether the yeasts used are imported or local.

The other confusing thing is that a wine can be deemed organic or even biodynamic, but have nothing to do with natural wine, as for instance Domaine Romanée-Conti, the most expensive wine in the world.

It is true that natural wine isn’t on the shelves of local supermarkets, or probably even at a wine merchant. We come across it in considerable volume in trendy restaurants or wine bars, which often pay homage to New Nordic Cuisine, as brilliantly expounded by René Redzepi at Noma in Copenhagen. The feeling goes that if the food served in a restaurant is best when it has no pesticides and herbicides, then the same must be true for wine.

This is a noble idea. However, at this point the world divides. What natural wine devotees think is pure, clean and authentic can taste for others like putrid apple cider or just as bad – -characterless, bland and acidic. The additive that the natural winers object to the most is sulphur, a naturally occurring element that is essential to stop wine oxidizing. The amounts required to allow wine to last more than a few days is around 30 parts per million. Without adequate sulphur, wine becomes highly unstable.

Unfortunately, wine without any human intervention doesn’t exist – it is purely a man-made invention and without any human interference, all you have is either grape juice or vinegar. Stephen Browett, the owner of Farr Vintners, the largest broker of fine wine in the world, is baffled by the natural wine movement. “Our trade in natural wine is zero. I am quite nonplussed by it – I just don’t get it. Everyone who is passionate about food and wine wants the least amount of human intervention possible. We all know what factory farming does to the quality of meat and we all know what herbicides and pesticides do to the quality of fruit and vegetables. The problem with wine is that it is not just a fruit product. It is more than just grapes and you can’t make wine without human intervention, unlike cows or carrots. The natural wine movement seems to think that being natural is more important than being good. If you can’t deliver a consistent product, that’s not much use and of course it would be a disaster if we sold it.”

It’s worth knowing which restaurants offer only natural wine, if only to avoid them. This means places like Terroirs or Ducksoup in London, Bastard in Malmö or Chateaubriand in Paris. These places serve first-rate food alongside undrinkable wine. Fortunately many restaurants have had a change of heart, now offering choice. At Noma, where the natural wine movement really took off, they sell traditional wines from world-famous producers. In London both The Dairy and Hibiscus, the two-star Michelin restaurant, have reintroduced top vintages.

If only everyone offered customers such variety. I suffered at the hands of a natural wine zealot recently in Paris, where I was eating at one of the very best new style of restaurants that prides itself on innovative cuisine at affordable prices and is booked for weeks in advance. I was left in the capable hands of the chief sommelier. I told her that I had a weakness for Burgundy, but would be happy with anything she chose – as long as it was not natural wine.

When it came to the white wine, I was told: “This is better than Burgundy.” I had noticed that the wine list had several superb wines from the late Didier Dagueneau, a wild man who made extraordinary Pouilly-Fumé. I was expecting something sensational.

Alas, I was served only natural wine, which was sometimes drinkable in a bland one-dimensional sort of way, but usually verged on the disgusting. I drank a silent toast to the late, great Didier Dagueneau. How I miss him.

[Jenise]

I'm thinking there's something in your cookies that the site doesn't like.

Must be. It didn't like me any better when I attempted to go there on my own instead of on your link. Thanks for the article!

Mr. Palling is the former food columnist for the Wall St. Journal Europe. He has a blog on which he makes similarly broad and useless swipes against AFWE wines.

Mark Lipton

..have never had one that tasted like vinegar..

Really? No volatile acidity? I thought that was one of the standard 'flaws'.

Sure, I've had bottles with VA. Some "natural", some others (Musar, older Rioja, older Barolo are especially likely to be at least "high-toned, and of course Madeira is in a category of its own). Some within my tolerance level, others to me flawed. But none tasted like vinegar.
I'm no natural wine advocate- you can keep your Coturri , thanks very much. But if I go to a tasting of LDM or Jenny & Francois wines, there are few to no flawed wines for my tastes, though one might run across some brett, and certainly high acids. But this advocate for "classic" wines doesn't take aim at traditionally produced Burg with some barnyard, just decries virtually all natural wines as flawed. What I can't understand is why an editor in a mainstream middlebrow rag like Newsweek felt this was worth airing, as natural is such a tiny niche in wine.

[Robin Garr]

What I can't understand is why an editor in a mainstream middlebrow rag like Newsweek felt this was worth airing, as natural is such a tiny niche in wine.

I wondered about that too, Dale.

My best guess, based on a little experience in journalism and publishing, is that the editor (1) perhaps unwisely, trusted his writer to choose a subject of general interest and didn't know enough about the field to recognize that this was a very narrow topic; or, perhaps more likely (2) bought in for its trollishness, hoping for mag sales and page views.

But this advocate for "classic" wines doesn't take aim at traditionally produced Burg with some barnyard, just decries virtually all natural wines as flawed.

Yeah, it sounds like he tasted a few messed up natural wines and then extrapolated way too far.

Of course also we shouldn't extrapolate too far from our limited samples of what are likely to be the better examples of natural wines.

But then again I don't really care about the generalizations in these debates and am mainly happy to focus on the wines I like!

..have never had one that tasted like vinegar..

Really? No volatile acidity? I thought that was one of the standard 'flaws'.

Volatile acidity almost always stops at ethyl acetate, in my experience. On the other hand I taught a Wine Defects class last night, and our 'VA' example was so bad that it really did taste very slightly vinegary.

Of course also we shouldn't extrapolate too far from our limited samples of what are likely to be the better examples of natural wines.

Sure, as noted there is bad natural wine, and we may suffer from selection bias. But he specifically notes restaurants with great food and "undrinkable" wines, including Terroirs in London. Here's the list:
http://terroirswinebar.com/assets/files ... l-2014.pdf

Yeah, CRB, Philiponnat, F. Boulard, Breton, Vouette et Sorbe, Thierry Germain. Mosse, Ganevet, Puzelat, Foillard, A. Occhipinti,Descombes, - all undrinkable!

A friend also had a great meal at Chateaubriand in Paris and loved every wine.

Of course also we shouldn't extrapolate too far from our limited samples of what are likely to be the better examples of natural wines.

Sure, as noted there is bad natural wine, and we may suffer from selection bias. But he specifically notes restaurants with great food and "undrinkable" wines, including Terroirs in London. Here's the list:
http://terroirswinebar.com/assets/files ... l-2014.pdf

Yeah, CRB, Philiponnat, F. Boulard, Breton, Vouette et Sorbe, Thierry Germain. Mosse, Ganevet, Puzelat, Foillard, A. Occhipinti,Descombes, - all undrinkable!

A friend also had a great meal at Chateaubriand in Paris and loved every wine.

I just had dinner at Terroirs a week and a half ago and the wines were uniformly terrific (I was only perusing their BTG offerings, though). Looking at the dead soliders behind the bar, they were like a "greatest hits" list of some of my favorite wines. My favorite wine of the night was a Mercurey from Derain, a producer hitherto unknown to me, that I now discover is imported by Jenny & Francois.

Mark Lipton

Just checked WS, that's pricey Mercurey! But will keep eye out.
Are you sure none of the BTG tasted like vinegar or putrid cider?

Just checked WS, that's pricey Mercurey! But will keep eye out.
Are you sure none of the BTG tasted like vinegar or putrid cider?

Better vinegar or cider than coating-the-mouth-like-oil toasted oak milkshakes or 16% abv "balanced" zinfandels.

(Give me acid over that oily, unctuous oak coating that too many "classic" wines have)

Just checked WS, that's pricey Mercurey! But will keep eye out.
Are you sure none of the BTG tasted like vinegar or putrid cider?

Better vinegar or cider than coating-the-mouth-like-oil toasted oak milkshakes or 16% abv "balanced" zinfandels.

(Give me acid over that oily, unctuous oak coating that too many "classic" wines have)

I refer to that influence of new oak to texture as a "sheen." To me, the wines are glossy and slick, neither of which I find appealing.

Mark Lipton

I refer to that influence of new oak to texture as a "sheen." To me, the wines are glossy and slick, neither of which I find appealing.

Mark Lipton

Yes! That is a good word that perfectly captures the characteristic! I am Sheenaphobic!