WTN: DevineShimmers Merlot '13...(short/boring)

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WTN: DevineShimmers Merlot '13...(short/boring)

Postby TomHill » Sun Apr 28, 2013 1:07 pm

Noticed the other day on the Site:
DevineShimmersLipStick

that you can buy lipstick in wine-based flavors: Bordeaux/Cabernet/Champagne/Chardonnay/Merlot/Rose/CalifSparkling.

They assert that:
deVine has taken the beneficial properties of the vineyard wine grape and provided a beauty line that contains;

* Resveratrol
* Grapeseed Oil
* Red Wine Antioxidants

It’s an innovative idea and is currently the only product line on the market of its kind.
* All natural
* • Alcohol free
* • Gluten free
* • Cruelty free
* • Pesticide free
* • Paraben free.
* MADE IN THE USA

Ingredients include:
deVine contains:

helianthus annuus (sunflower) seed oil

cera alba (beeswax)

ricinus communis

cocos nucifera (coconut) oil

butyrospermum parkii (shea) butter

vitis vinifera (grape) seed oil

flavors

euphorbia cerifera (candelilla) wax

tocopherol

resveratrol

mica, iron oxide, titanium dioxide


How could I resist these touted health benefits, so I ordered up a stick of the Merlot (natch) lipstick.
Friday night is my night to cruise the singles bars in SantaFe. So I donned my finest lime-green polyester leasure suit, had my trusty Post slide rule strapped to my belt (gee...you never know when you'll need to do a calculation on the LL3 scale in a singles bar), several punched cards tucked into my top pocket (when I'm hitting on a chick, I always ask her to write down her phone number in FORTRAN and EBCDIC...figuring if she doesn't know either language, she's not worth hitting on...no matter how hot she looks), the vinyl pocket-protector holding a dazzling array of 5 (count 'em...five) different colored ball point pens. My typical singles-bar uniform that always livens up the scene.
Only this time, I applied some of my recently-arrived Merlot lipstick. Since I'm not accustomed to wearing lipstick, the lovely pattern was rather askew with speckles on my eyeglasses and left ear.

DevineShimmers Merlot (0%; www.DevineShimmers.com; Tubed: Jan 17/2013 in an FDA-certified organic facility) 2013: Lovely light garnet color, typical of Merlot; rather waxy/parafin gummy-textured slight mineral/terroir-driven (probably from the mica) bit tutti-fruity flavor w/ no Merlot fruit in evidence and a slightly tannic/bitter character w/ hints of titanium-dioxide/metallic finish that goes on & on as it remained on my lips until well into the next morning; pleasant enough Merlot but totally lacking in varietal character. $7.50/3 oz. tube
_____________________
And a wee BloodyPulpit:
1. When I sauntered into the first singles bar, as cool a dude as ever crossed that threshold, there was a huge gasp from the bar's denizens. Immediately, all the hot-chicks grabbed their purses and exited the side door. The other cool dudes immediately left in pursuit. With only me & the bartender, I ordered a glass of Chard and belted it down. I then proceeded onto the next singles bar w/ approximately the same result. Never once was I afforded the opportunity to whip out my slide rule (nor anything else, for that matter) and do an LL3 calculation.
I would have to give the DevineShimmers Merlot a huge Fail and an 83 on the MarthaStewart 100-pt scale. If they come out w/ a Syrah flavor, though, I may give it a shot.
Tom
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Re: WTN: DevineShimmers Merlot '13...(short/boring)

Postby Jenise » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:42 pm

LOL, Tom!
My wine shopping and I have never had a problem. Just a perpetual race between the bankruptcy court and Hell.--Rogov
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Re: WTN: DevineShimmers Merlot '13...(short/boring)

Postby Mike Filigenzi » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:20 pm

Well if they're not reacting to the punch cards and the slide rule, then those Santa Fe women aren't worth your time anyway! They obviously have no sense of style or taste.

"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a very narrow field" - Niels Bohr
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