Thought I should give a brief summary of Donn's memorial service up at TheRidge last Friday.
Nicole did an incredible job of organizing all the logistics for the day's event. Had she been the organizing General for the war in Iraq...it'd been over yrs ago!! The whole event went amazingly smooth, despite the crowd of some 500-600 people.
Buses picked us up down at DeAnza and ferried us up to TheRidge. There was a lot of Donn's memoribilia and photos from over the yrs on display in the old barn. It had been spiffed up as never before. I understand that Marilyn (Donn's wife) was responsible for most of it. It gave a rare glimpse into the life of a man who in actuality was a very private man. Donn was one goofy-looking kid. That goofiness was an endearing trait he carried on into adulthood. Each one of those photos brought a smile to my face.
There was passed-around hor d'oveurs and new Ridge wines ('07 SantaCruzMtn Chard...lots of oak but a great underlying minerality; '07 Geyserville...tons of Zin fruit and that underlying DraperPerfume...much more than in my tasting; '06 SantaCruzMtn Cabernet). We then all adjourned to the tasting room parking lot where the official ceremony took place, underneath blazingly bright blue skies and a gentle breeze...absolutely gorgeous weather and a view that makes TheRidge such a special place to visit.
Paul started things off w/ his comments, reflections, and stories of Donn and his history with Ridge. Then several of Donn's special friends spoke about Donn. There were more than a few tears being shed in the audience. Finally, Marilyn got up and spoke of her life with Donn and made it clear what a very special guy he was. It was an incredible way to wrap up the life of an amazing man we all knew and loved.
The best thing about the ceremony was there was no beating about the bush as to why he died. It answered the big "why?" in everybody's mind. Donn's bicycle accident 5 yrs ago was the third serious injury to his brain (TBI: Traumatic Brain Injury). It was a miracle that he survived it. Nicole was instrumental in ensuring he got the very best doctors at Stanford on his case.
With TBI, the likelihood of early problems w/ dementia, Alzheimers, memory loss is greatly increased. Over the last few months, Donn was noting a significant degradation of his mental capacities. He was a very demanding person of himself. The thought of trying to live the rest of his life w/ diminishing mental capabilities was a thought he could not bear to face. He was determined not to be a burden on Marilyn and others over the coming years. So he decided to end it all. We'll never know what was going thru Donn's mind over the last few days but you have to look at it as one of the most courageous things a man could do for his wife. Knowing what went into his decision makes it much more accepting for me, and for many others I'm sure.
Marilyn's rememberance was spoken from the heart. Where she found the courage to deliver such a tribute to Donn is beyond my imagination. But deliver it she did. And she ended it all on a very unbeat note, exactly as Donn would have wanted it to be. To go enjoy our memories of Donn over good food and great wine and share them all with the most special of friends. And that's exactly what we did for the next few hours. The mood was a bit somber at times, but a degree of levity that made us certain that Donn was there with us that afternoon...somewhere there in the vineyards. It was one of the most special days I've ever spent at TheRidge and a fitting sendoff to a life lived to its very fullest. His was an incredible life and a man we all miss very much. We were all touched by him in one way or another and became better people for that special touch he gave us all.
My special thanks go to Ridge, to OtsukaPharmaceticals, to Paul and all of the Ridge family, for making it such a very extraordinary day. And a very special thank you to Marilyn. You made it very clear to us all last Friday up on TheRidge why Donn chose you out of all the women in the world. And it was the smartest decision he ever made in his life, it is clear to all.
Tom